How to make sense of "2Cor 12:9"?

i m not writing my thots abt this; i m asking a genuine question... i m v tired & weak, totally inadequate. looking forward to June 2007, but there are many hurdles before it & i have to learn to jump over it, even when i m seriously tired. i know i have to depend on God, but how i do i trust? 'trust' does not equate to 'know'... God, i want to trust, i want to stop grumbling, i want to be stronger, physically & mentally, i want to love, people whom i like , people whom i don't like, people whom i respect, people whom i don't. empower me... overflow in my heart, the Holy Spirit... feeling like a bottomless pit, my strength & my heart, still falling, falling, falling...empower me with the power of resurrection, that i may be a new man...

nothing seems to turn out right today. seriously downcasted...

Why are you downcast, O my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him,
my Saviour and my God.
(Psalms 42:5-6a)

Be.Still.Blabbering

be still... i know i have to... but i m still blabbering... still trying to reconcile the many things i have to complete competently and being a greenhorn... still can't find a solution... still ringing in my head Mr Heah's famous quote: "experience comes from bad judgement, bad judgement come from inexperience." still stressed over work... still trying to finish setting my papers... still dunno how to set... still worried abt wedding preps and my new family's situation... still learning to trust God & the people He put into my life to help with all these situations... still grateful to God for being around & speaking loud & clear... still blabbering... hahaha... can't find much things to use the word "still"...

...still random...

still.steel.steal.stale... i guess these r all the words i can think of that sound close to "still"... in this last lap of 71 days, i really need a body and a nerve of steel to pull through... so many needs & tasks at hand... the best is stainless steel though it can still be corroded... need to learn how to steal time to read God's words and to rest... and in the midst of busyness, if i dun recharge myself in the Lord, i will really turn stale... still blabbering, still lousily lame...

Blabbering. Randomly

just feel like blabbering... nothing in particlar... guess this is what happens when i m stressed... work & wedding preps r stressing me out... thank God for Grace & 3sa... Grace: for being my hands when i thot of something; 3sa: for looking after the details & taking care of generally the whole planning process in the midst of your own busyness...

i had tons of papers to set, have yet to complete... it doesn't really help when i have mild ADHD & dyslexia (not medically diagnosed tho)...

seriously, i really feel like typing something, as if there's lotsa things to say, yet my mind is just blank... wanna do work, but brain simply not functioning, like having a mental blog... i meant, block... i know, it's a lousy pun, but can't help... my thots r simply flying everywhere in my head & i m like a small boy, trying to catch these flying thots like floating butterflies with my bare hands...

...

see, mind block again, just dunno what to say or blabber... oh by the way, did i spell "blabbering" correct? it seems a bit offsomewhere, but can't pinpoint... myb it should have 2 'r's as in "blabberring", but this spelling looks even weirder... now having a bit of problem spelling the word "weird".. typing it as "wierd", "weild" & "wield"... sometimes, i really wonder how i managed to be who i m today with so many un-diagonsed problems... i can only say it's be God's mercy & grace (no pun intended) that i m doing reasonably well, that it's Him who gave me sufficient abilities to counter my disabilities... noticed the bold word above? it's a proof theat i can't spell... i almost wrote "a proof" as "a prove" & "approve"... just to highlight my weakness & His mercy, i bolded (if there is such a word) the spelling error above...

thanx for reading my random blabbering/blabberring... glad that i just had a blog diarrhea (correct spelling? i never remember how to spell this word too, just in case i spell wrongly, i shall say it in hokkien. at least there's no correct or incorrect romanized hokkien: "lau sai") now i can get back to work...