Another Rumbling

I am beginning to feel restless. I feel as if I am not being challenged to think. The things that I must do for my work are so routine & mundane. They take a lot of time, though most do not require much thinking. Even if I were supposed to think, I must think about things approved by my bosses to make them look good but not beneficial for neither me nor my clients (a.k.a. students). Even the students are not motivated to doing well for themselves; I can’t help but feeling the strong reluctance to do anything for them.

When I was younger, I just want to play. I refused to study, thinking that I am the smartest. Yeah right. Now that I am working, I want to study and play. I don’t want to work. Yet I do not have that option, just because I am not rich. I do not have enough cash to maintain my expenditure for two years. I have to work in order to bring home some bread and butter, and no other work gives me the salary that I want without increase my workload. In any case, whichever job I go to, they will still require me to work for the minimum amount of salary.

Meaningless! All is meaningless! What does a man gain by all the toil at which he toils under the sun? All the work I see my bosses and colleagues do, they are, to me, absolutely meaningless.