How to make sense of "2Cor 12:9"?

i m not writing my thots abt this; i m asking a genuine question... i m v tired & weak, totally inadequate. looking forward to June 2007, but there are many hurdles before it & i have to learn to jump over it, even when i m seriously tired. i know i have to depend on God, but how i do i trust? 'trust' does not equate to 'know'... God, i want to trust, i want to stop grumbling, i want to be stronger, physically & mentally, i want to love, people whom i like , people whom i don't like, people whom i respect, people whom i don't. empower me... overflow in my heart, the Holy Spirit... feeling like a bottomless pit, my strength & my heart, still falling, falling, falling...empower me with the power of resurrection, that i may be a new man...