Rumbling Once More

There is no doubt that my current status is LOST. I have begun to see no purpose in my current job. Everything that I do in school or for the school seemed meaningless. What is the point of teaching 7 classes of students who can’t be bothered to learn? What is the purpose of setting targets and meeting them when in the end, it’s just chasing after the wind? Why should I provide them with activities and programs, helping them (& the school) attain awards when the students don’t see the pride in them? What really matters in life is not the subjects that we are teaching, it’s the lives the students are living and there’s nothing we can do to change them.

What matters to me is the growth & development of my children, that they will grow strong and healthy, wise and kind, and that they will grow to love God and His people. Yet the world has turned to such a stage that our families are no longer important. All the world cares is value-addedness towards our jobs, economy and profit. “What does it profit a man if he gains the whole world and loses or forfeits himself?” (Luke 9:25, ESV) It doesn’t help that I am serving the last third of my 3-year bond, serving a study loan of $20K. I am so tied down, so helpless, unable to move on to what I like to do. How can I find meaning in a society which worships vanity? Where do I find a place to serve without cares of worldly needs and wants? What can I do to like what I dislike? When will I ever finish the race & receive a pat on my back and a voice saying to me “well done, my good and faithful servant”?