Even Easter Misunderstood *sob sob*

Even Easter is a season i always look forward to, God always has a pleasant surprise for me. This year, i was really anticipating its arrival. Yet, tho a pleasant event happened, a painful event took place at the same time. His ways are not my ways, His thoughts are not my thoughts. The painful event cut me deep, real deep. 8 years of hurt & anguish resurfaced all within 3 hours. Tears and mucus flow till they can flow no more. it hurts. It really does.

The difference was that i could cry my heart out on my 6th Christian birthday while i was very bitter and angry at God 8 years ago. The difference was that i could eventually say "the LORD gave and the LORD hath taken away, blessed be the name of the LORD" while the words that came from my mouth 8 years ago was "i renounce You, God!"

It is not easy to hold on to Jer 29:11 & Job 1:21. But it is true that healing can only occur if i choose to believe in these verses & others that the LORD reminded me. Not that it doesn't hurt anymore, but it brings to a closure what should be closed 8 years ago. Tho i was no longer angry abt that event, i had never faced the grieving side of it until yesterday. At least i can be more functional after the sorrow. I m still looking for the day that He turns my sorrow into dancing, in 2 months time.

Happy 6th Birthday to me, Galvs & family (May God continue to the healing process in Aunt Alice)