L-O-V-E, more like the lack of understanding of it… [san]
*kel’s thots on perseverance*
let's look at 1Cor 13:7. "it always protects, always trust, always hopes, always perseveres." Paul here is talking abt agape love, which can be applied to many aspects of life, & i m now applying it to BGR. before we start a r/ship, we must already know that the person we so-called love, is a totally different person from us; there is bound to be differences between the 2 of u. therefore, a couple will always have disagreements, tho not necessarily arguements. the last aspect in this verse says "always perseveres". as we love our partners, no matter wat happens, big/small arguements, crisis etc, we r to persevere in loving tt person we chose to b our prospective spouse. if we have not the future/hope in mind, i.e. marriage, how then can we have the motivation to persevere?
when i talk abt persevere, i did not mean "tolerate" or "ren" in Chinese. if a couple "tolerates" each other in a r/ship, it'll b just like blowing up a balloon. the more the couple tolerates, the more air pumped into the balloon, the higher the pressure build up inside. when 1 day both parties can't take anymore pressure, the balloon burst & the damage caused can be devastating. hurts may be brought into the next r/ship, causing more harm to the next partners.
"Persevere" has, to me, an idea of overcoming obstacles with achieving the goal in mind, being persistent in working out the r/ship. Perseverance in a r/ship is a commitment to stay faithful to tt 1 partner u have chosen. not only tt, it is to commit yourselves to bring each other up to the knowledge of the Lord, as mentioned in the earlier entry. As mentioned above, our partners are definitely different from us in many ways. In our perseverance to make the r/ship work, we are to communicate a lot with each other so tt we may better understand each other & work ard our differences. Only when we persevere together as a couple then we can compliment each other & make our differences work for the good of the r/ship. If only 1 party perseveres & the other gives up easily, the r/ship will fall apart 1 day. 1 hand can’t clap, only when 2 hands work together can there be an applause.
Persevere would also mean accepting each other’s shortcoming & help the other party overcome his/her weakness instead of being angry with him/her, encouraging him/her instead of being critical. There are times when the r/ship seems too difficult to continue due to various reasons. As a couple, we are to persevere together. If because a small bump, the couple easily gives up the r/ship, they will regret their decision 1 day. not only tt, their future r/ships will more likely face the same problems because they have not learnt to persevere together as a couple.
Having a r/ship is not easy, Grace & I can testify & identify with tt. Many times, she has to accept my impatience & constantly reminding me to be patient w/o turning impatient herself. I had to accept the fact tt she handles stress differently from me, & I have to constantly remind her to share her stress with me instead of storing the pressure within herself. These are just some of our many weakness tt we are learning to accept. If we are not looking at the future & the hope of marriage, if we dun persevere in this r/ship, we would have BUed on our 3rd mth together when we were both very stressed. On looking back, I thank God tt we had both persevered, wanting the best for our r/ship, & we are now happily looking forward to our future together.
let's look at 1Cor 13:7. "it always protects, always trust, always hopes, always perseveres." Paul here is talking abt agape love, which can be applied to many aspects of life, & i m now applying it to BGR. before we start a r/ship, we must already know that the person we so-called love, is a totally different person from us; there is bound to be differences between the 2 of u. therefore, a couple will always have disagreements, tho not necessarily arguements. the last aspect in this verse says "always perseveres". as we love our partners, no matter wat happens, big/small arguements, crisis etc, we r to persevere in loving tt person we chose to b our prospective spouse. if we have not the future/hope in mind, i.e. marriage, how then can we have the motivation to persevere?
when i talk abt persevere, i did not mean "tolerate" or "ren" in Chinese. if a couple "tolerates" each other in a r/ship, it'll b just like blowing up a balloon. the more the couple tolerates, the more air pumped into the balloon, the higher the pressure build up inside. when 1 day both parties can't take anymore pressure, the balloon burst & the damage caused can be devastating. hurts may be brought into the next r/ship, causing more harm to the next partners.
"Persevere" has, to me, an idea of overcoming obstacles with achieving the goal in mind, being persistent in working out the r/ship. Perseverance in a r/ship is a commitment to stay faithful to tt 1 partner u have chosen. not only tt, it is to commit yourselves to bring each other up to the knowledge of the Lord, as mentioned in the earlier entry. As mentioned above, our partners are definitely different from us in many ways. In our perseverance to make the r/ship work, we are to communicate a lot with each other so tt we may better understand each other & work ard our differences. Only when we persevere together as a couple then we can compliment each other & make our differences work for the good of the r/ship. If only 1 party perseveres & the other gives up easily, the r/ship will fall apart 1 day. 1 hand can’t clap, only when 2 hands work together can there be an applause.
Persevere would also mean accepting each other’s shortcoming & help the other party overcome his/her weakness instead of being angry with him/her, encouraging him/her instead of being critical. There are times when the r/ship seems too difficult to continue due to various reasons. As a couple, we are to persevere together. If because a small bump, the couple easily gives up the r/ship, they will regret their decision 1 day. not only tt, their future r/ships will more likely face the same problems because they have not learnt to persevere together as a couple.
Having a r/ship is not easy, Grace & I can testify & identify with tt. Many times, she has to accept my impatience & constantly reminding me to be patient w/o turning impatient herself. I had to accept the fact tt she handles stress differently from me, & I have to constantly remind her to share her stress with me instead of storing the pressure within herself. These are just some of our many weakness tt we are learning to accept. If we are not looking at the future & the hope of marriage, if we dun persevere in this r/ship, we would have BUed on our 3rd mth together when we were both very stressed. On looking back, I thank God tt we had both persevered, wanting the best for our r/ship, & we are now happily looking forward to our future together.
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